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Andrew
"Crocodile" Ray
AVANTI DESIGNS
Contributing Columnist
E-Mail Column Response: CLICK
Public Column Response: RRSMB
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JULY
16th, 2007 |
HARRY
POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX
I
saw the movie with a sense of dread going in. I had read the book
and to date it was the only one by JK Rowling that was boring. In
fact, I am of the opinion that
it was "ghost-written". The book was nothing like the
ones that came before it stylistically and failed to hold my interest.
The one that came after it called
"The Half Blood Prince" is a much better work and back
up to her usual writing standards. This along with the fact that
the critics panned the movie made me even
consider waiting for the DVD rather than shilling out the 9 bucks
to sit in a crowded theatre at midnight to see a sneak preview of
the movie.
As it is I only have two problems with the film, but first let me
say this, it was a Good Movie. Not great, not bad, but good. It
held my interest and really further
developed the Potter story and characters rather than resolve any
world shaking issues other than Voldemort is back, which we all
already knew. I think the critiques
are so trained for car-chases and explosions they wouldn’t
understand suspense and drama if it bit them on the ass. They still
expect the Harry Potter of the past and
what they don’t realized is that Mrs. Rowling is ageing her
characters and story composition to match the age of her original
readers. Harry isn’t like the Hardy Boys and
doesn’t live in a static world and never age. He is growing
up on film right before our very eyes. Just like the readers who
are now in their late teens and early 20s. The
last movie saw some serious moments with Cedrick's death but still
had the frivolity of the Quiddich matches and the Tri-Wizard tournament.
This time around there is
no mention of Quiddich and its some serious stuff going on with
a lot of political shuffling and under-handed dealings along with
downright murder and sorcery
battles and a major character's death. This along with a load of
character development bring us closer to the figures in this movie
than ever before. It is not a
stand-alone movie and sets the stage for further story line development
in the next film which should end with a Bang! - Dumbledore’s
Death at the Hands
of Snape as Harry watches. So my impression is not bad, not great
but a good movie that leaves you wanting more.
Now
the two problems I had with the movie. One was the Giant that looked
like a Harryhausen creation not the CGI creature it was supposed
to be. It was as
lifeless and plastic looking as Claymation. And second and more
importantly were the 12 commercials lasting a half an hour I was
forced to sit through before we
even got to the movie previews. What the hell am I paying 9 dollars
for when they are selling a half an hour of add space before the
movie. I cant change the
channel or get up cause someone will steal my seat. I am a captive
audience forced to watch one stupid product endorsement after another.
I don’t mind the
previews at all but the forced 'crappy' Coke ads and the 'Newest
Car' they are trying to convince me is 'Cool' are not something
I give a Damn about. I would love
to play Roshambo
with the Marketing Director that was responsible for the add-placement
& quantity and kick him "right Squaaah inna nut sack".
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JULY
17th, 2006 |
WORLD
STARVATION
2500
children each day die of starvation each day according to the television
commercial featuring the actor who used to play 'Trapper John MD'.
He sits there in the
squallier of the same type of village that Sally Struthers used
to visit and tells you how your dollar can help prevent this tragedy.
Where do I begin with this one? If
we propagate this system they live in they just breed like flies
and the problem gets bigger not less. We have been throwing money
and missionaries at these situations
for literally centuries and it has done no good. The British missionaries
started trying to educate and help them as early as the late 1590s.
Some people have lived their
time and as a culture have stagnated and need to move aside for
something new. Seriously does anyone remember the Etruscans, or
the original Nordic settlers in
Vineland or the Rapa Nu. What about those chaps that originally
lived on Easter Island or the Peruvian culture that built Machupichu.
Then there were the original Romans
whose culture fell to the Gauls, or Lemuria-mu, the Vikings, Incas,
Aztecs, Picts, and many, many more. All of their societies ceased
to exist. They either adapted or died
out. Some were changed through breeding with other cultures, as
was the case with the Vikings, while others were sublimated into
a bigger conquering culture or in some
instances they just plain DIED OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!! The Red Cross wasn’t
there to keep their stagnant, non-productive, miserable lives and
culture going. Our universe is an
ever-changing one and if you can’t learn to adapt you will
die. I speak from experience having been on missionary trips to
some of these god-forsaken, mud-pit-fly-
infested pestholes. These people have no desire to get ahead or
improve their lot in life. They just expect the rest of the world
to support them in their never-ending quest
to laze around and make more babies. I have been to South Africa
and Chili, Peru and even supposedly civilized countries like Czechoslovakia
and everywhere the problem
is the same. Human apathy. Even here in the USA it is a huge problem.
You will either have the verve and will to get ahead in life and
support yourself and make something
of your miserable existence or you don’t. It can’t be
taught or given to someone, you are just born with it.
Now lets get back to the 5 hundred thousand per year children who
starve with 'Trapper'. There are not 2500 kids a day in the Far
and Middle East that die of
starvation. According to World Health Organization there are not
that many people dying of starvation worldwide each day let alone
this little rat pit 'Trapper' is in.
According to Matthew White in his book 'The Historical Atlas of
the 20th Century' there were a total of 44 million people who died
of starvation for the whole century.
He has all the deaths for the whole century broken down into specifics
such as war, murder, accidents, self-inflicted wounds and so on.
According to him and the
World Health Organization this comes out to be about 1205 deaths
a day worldwide due to starvation. That’s worldwide. Robert
Gilliam in his article 'Can we Find Peace
in a World with Inequitable Distribution of Wealth Among Nations',
points out that as the gross national product rises the death rate
due to infant mortality
and starvation drops proportionally. What’s this all mean?
It means that the liberal agenda is to create a problem or a crisis
and then propose a way for your
money to fix it. By giving them your money you ensure that the system
keeps going and receiving all of its government assistance. While
Wacko, Liberal Enviro-nuts
can set back and soak up the power and glory and feel good about
doing something by using your money. What we should be concerned
about is the poverty and
hunger in our own country. When we have all of that solved then
we can go sticking our noses into other countries and making up
statistics about how bad off they are.
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JULY
3rd, 2006 |
RAIN
FOREST DESTRUCTION
Give
me a break. When I was a kid we called it the Jungle and it would
eat you alive in a second. Now the Enviro-Nazzies have prettied
it up and it's all friendly with
that sure fire cure for cancer just hanging on the vine like the
Garden of Eden and it's called "The Rain Forest". Bullshit,
it’s still the wild dangerous Jungle with Tarzan
and all the Bomongani. Also, they make it seem that the countries
involved are just bull dozing the Jungle down for the hell of it
for fun every afternoon. Let's just all
have a big party and just burn it all down, we got nothing else
to do but piss off the rest of the world. I’m afraid not.
That is nowhere near what is happening. They are
practicing land management and harvesting select trees and then
replanting. Even those '3rd World Morons' know that if you just
cut it all down it is gone. No, they go in
and sometimes clear cut for construction but in 99 % of the cases
it's selective cutting and replanted after they have moved on. The
same is true in North America.
Everyone screams about virgin timber. Let me tell you something,
if this group doesn’t know a thing or two about trees by this
time, considering the amount of time we
have spent among them each year, then it’s a sad thing. Every
tree dies. There are no ‘Ents’ in the woods, no eternal
trees, and No Virgin Timber. Get it - 'No Virgin Timber'.
It has all been burned down by natural causes at one point or another
or stricken by blight bugs or diseases. Hell, even our precious
Gorge with all its magnificent trees has
been clear-cut in entirety several times in the past 150 years,
just go to the Ranger Station and ask to see the photos or look
in any book documenting the Red River Area.
Virgin timber? Baaahumbug! Trees are not eternal. They live 3 or
4 centuries in the best of cases more often much less. They die
fall down and new ones grow in their place.
In fact, if you go to the US Department of Forestry and Agriculture
you will find that there is more land under forestation at the present
time than ever before in the
last 1500 years in North America due to forest fire fighting practices
and land management that promotes wetland and forest preservation.
All the Enviro-Nazzies bitch that
we are destroying the oxygen producing trees and that we will all
suffocate in a hundred years, which is, once again, leftist, Marxist,
lying, liberal bullshit. Remember, that
the Earth's surface is covered 2/3 by salt water and all that supports
the largest living ecosystem on the planet the root of which is
algae. According to NOAA, the
National Oceanic and Aeronautic Association, algae creates 97.8
percent of the Earths’ oxygen supply, not the freaking oak
tree in your back yard. It’s the millions of
square miles of photosynthetic algae blooms that number in the quin-trillions
and form the base foundation for all of life as we know it here
on Earth, that are responsible
for keeping that precious 15 % oxygen content supplied to the mixture
of gasses we breath. Do you want to know what the best thing you
can do with a tree is? Chop it
down and make something out of it like a baseball bat to smack a
Hippie or Liberal with. Guess what, it will grow back. That’s
why it’s called a 'Renewable Resource'.
If the Enviro-Nuts want to bitch let them go off about Non-Renewable
Resources like Coal that really damages the land when they Strip
Mine. You don’t find Tree Huggers
out there chaining themselves to rock faces chanting save the coal
now, do you? You know why? It's because its harder to anthropomorphize
anthracite coal. You can
identifywith a graceful tree, gently swaying in the wind easier
than with a mere rock under your feet. Think about it. Oh, there’s
also the fact that coal miners wouldn’t
give a shit if they killed a few Hippies in the process of mining.
All of these and more factors keep them from looking at the environment
logically and protesting the true
damaging aspects of our consumption based society.
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JUNE
19th, 2006 |
OVERCROWDING
Now
this one is so easy that a child should be able to see the fallacy
of the statement. The eggheads who write all the articles about
overcrowding all live in big cities and fight that rush hour traffic
and have to make dinner reservations 3 weeks ahead of time just
to get into
McDonalds. Sure to them the world looks crowded as they jostle a
million other people for a space on the subway. Ask a farmer in
Kansas if it’s
overcrowded. His nearest neighbor lives farther away than the entire
city of New York. I have driven across this country from coast to
coast several
times. When you do that you get a perspective that flying doesn’t
allow you. If you fly its bam and there you are 6 hours or less
and you are across
the entire continent. Try driving it. After a few days you realize
that you have been driving for about 5 hours and all you have seen
are trees and
shrubs but not a single human being. We have more land and food
than we can use its just that people like to crowd into large groups
and clan together.
Most times this happened throughout history the black plague or
some other disease would come along and attack the areas with the
worst living
conditions and bingo about ¾ of the earth’s population
would die out. Now with the modern miracle of treated water and
sewer systems and
antibiotics we can stuff more people than ever before into ever-smaller
spaces thanks to high rise buildings. New York, Tokyo, Saul Palo,
Koala Lumpur,
and more. Literally billions crammed into housing that is so small
and tight that our southern bathrooms are spacious by comparison.
Sure to these fools
the world seems crowded because it is but I have been to places
where there was no one in sight nor any indication of another human
at all. Once on a
trip to the western part of the USA I drove through the cornfields
of what seemed most of Kansas. It was literally hundreds of miles
of either corn or just
flat land as far as you could see. In New Mexico and Arizona I saw
tracts of land where the road signs would say next gas 300 miles
and they were not
kidding. I have been to other countries like Australia where we
went to Ayers rock. It was a 6-hour drive over empty moonscape land
and swamps, jungle
and desert to reach it and the only sign of human habitation was
the tourist rest areas along the road. In Europe there are areas
in the Black Forest
that stretch for thousands of miles where no one lives and has not
for thousands of years since the Picts moved out to become civilized.
We got space on this planet, we got more space than we can use.
Its just all the monkeys no longer live in the jungle but decided
to move to the zoo
and the zoo is crowded believe me I been there too and the zoo is
definitely crowded. So my solution is move out if you don’t
like it. Stop bitching
about it and look further away than a Jersey suburb and think about
those vast uninhabited tracts of land available to anyone who wants
to live there.
Hell, look at Vegas it was once a piece of flat desert with nothing
more than scorpions and buzzards. Now thanks to the Mob, its one
of the largest
vacation spots on the planet ranking right up there with Disney
World and the famous Black Gold Festival in Perry County KY. A few
facts here to
back up my statements as provided by http://www.nemw.org/popdensity.htm
the states of NY and NJ have a population density of 1134 people
per square mile. But if you think that’s crowded its nothing
to Washington DC where the density sits at 9317 bureaucratic monkeys
per square mile.
On the other hand North Dakota boasts a 9, Montana a 6 Wyoming a
5 and Alaska has 1 person per square mile on the average. We got
space people
just move out of the freaking cities and live in the country. Hell
with satellite you can still get your broadband and 200 high def
video channels no
matter where you are.
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JUNE
5th, 2006 |
EL
NINO
OK,
do I have to say it again? We live in an active environment. Nothing
stays the same. If ocean currents change it is not the end of
the world, nor is it caused by anything we did. Our opinion of ourselves
is highly overrated. We think so much of ourselves just because
we can
think; but, in the grand scheme of things we don’t matter
one whit to the environment. Sure if we set off a couple of Nukes
every week or so it
would adversely affect things but we don’t do that. The fact
is that all of the pollution put out by the entire human population
during the past 500
years and that includes the coal burning industrial revolution does
not even begin to equal the amount of toxic gasses ash dirt radioactive
elements and
just pure trash that Mount St Helens spewed into the upper atmosphere
over a weeks time. Yes, that’s right, the Earth pollutes itself
perhaps we
should regulate that as well. No more Volcanoes, it’s causing
global warming and killing life as we know it. Stupid 'Environazzies'
go to the United
States Department of Geology web site and read up on just how much
junk is ejected into the air on a really big Volcano.
We as humans don’t matter any more than a flea on an elephant
to the Earth at our present rate of pollution.
So go ahead smoke a cigarette, burn your trash, dump your sewage
in the creek the Catfish love it.
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MAY
22nd, 2006 |
THE
OZONE HOLE
The
Ozone Hole is another of those things that’s been here long
before us. You can go to the US Department of Agricultures site
and find some astonishing
facts that will make you wonder why doesn’t anybody take this
information and shove it down the Environmental-Wacko-Liberal-Goose-Stepping
Gender-Bending-Left-Wing-Nutso-Democratic-Enviro-Nazzis throats.
From tree ring growth patterns which we have records of back as
far as 80,000 years
we can see certain weather patterns and growth cycles from all over
the Earth. We can tell if a climate was hot, cold, dry, or wet.
We can see if there were
fires and how long growing seasons were. We can tell what kind of
bugs lived on or in the trees and what kind of fungi thrived. Both
of which have an abundant
range of knowledge associated with their respective fields of study.
What I’m getting at is there is clear irrefutable evidence
that there was an ozone hole 80,000 years ago and we sure as hell
weren’t spraying CFCs into the air
back then or using cars with those Ohhhh Sooooo Evil Exhaust Fumes.
It’s a Crock. We got rid of CFC use almost completely over
20 years ago and it didn’t make
a bit of difference. In fact if you want to know the truth every
electric motor on earth produces ozone as a byproduct of its operation.
That’s right every
refrigerator out there is helping the Ozone by running that compressor
24 hours a day. RF11 is a less effective gas than Freon and yet
we don’t use it because
some Enviro-Nazzi said we were destroying the Ozone Layer so now
we’ve got to use something more expensive and less effective
so people can feel good about
themselves. Just another prime example of how it’s more important
to feel good about your convictions than be actually right about
them. It’s the intent that
counts not the truth. So Yes, there is a Seasonal Ozone Hole. It’s
always been there and always will be. It’s affected by the
Toridoral Rotation of the Earth and
the Van Allen Electromagnetic Field around the Earth. It’s
also affected by Sunspot Activity and Background Solar Winds. Not
Cow farts and hair spray.
I think we should take all the Environut Hippies to the South Pole
and make a little Commune right under where the Hole appears and
force them to live
there so they can feel justified in their panic. |
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MAY
8th, 2006 |
THE
RANT and RAVE
Several
weeks ago my lovely wife brought to my attention that what I do
on this site is not Rant and Rave its more like a Madman let loose
on an unsuspecting
Innocent Society and was the 100 percent raving of a Mad Lunatic.
I got to thinking about it and realized she was WRONG
and that what I have to say is so
important that many of you might feel a sense of loss of direction
if I was to stop (Allow me my fantasies OK). So for the next few
weeks I decided to touch
upon some Politically Correct Topics that the Liberal Left likes
to push upon us. The Environmental Wacko Groups will tell us all
sorts of salacious lies to further
their own causes regardless of the facts. It's more important to
have good intentions than actually be right and if you happen to
contradict them with facts or
hard scientific proof why then you’re a Hate Monger and want
all the Children to die and want to Poison the Atmosphere and see
the Environment destroyed. It’s a
Blind Fanatical sort of Knee Jerk Reactionary Force they rely upon
to further their agenda. It’s ingrained into the Children
in the Schools where the Teachers are
predominately Liberal. The Children don’t know enough to question
the outrageous claims they are being fed without a shred of evidence.
After a while they
become Little Brainwashed PC Zombies spouting the party line out
of rote memory their Little Skulls full of Mush Twisted by the lies
of the Leftist Enviro-Nazzies.
It’s become socially acceptable to just believe in this tripe
and feel good about your support rather than question the nonsense
that can be spouted by supposedly
intelligent learned people. In the next few weeks I will address
the following hot topics. Sort of like Myth Busters for the Leftist
Commie Liberal Propaganda Machine.
Tell
me if you have ever heard of any of these:
1.
The Earth is Warming up due to our Pollution.
2. There’s a Hole in the Ozone Layer and its caused by CFCs
and We are All gonna Die.
3. El Nino is caused by Automobile Pollution and Cow Farts
4. We are running out of Land and Overcrowding is a Problem
5. We are Destroying all the Rain Forest at Millions of Acres a
Day
6. Over 1500 Children Die each Day from Starvation in 3rd World
Countries
Let's take a look at a few of these outrageous claims. Over the
Next few 'Rants' I will address them with hard science and facts,
putting to rest the Populist
Feel Good Crap the Al Gores of our country would have us believe.
Trust me there is No 'Star Wars Force', No Santa, Easter Bunny or
Giea Mother Earth about to
wreak death and destruction on us for taking a piss in the woods.
My favorite is the Earth warming up and we are all going to bake
to death in a hundred years.
Well of course the Earth is getting warmer. Remember that Ice Age
thing. In fact remember the past 3 Ice Ages. There is a Cycle to
the Earth’s Climate. It gets
hot then cold. It doesn’t stay the same; we do not live in
a Static Environment. It changes daily. People freak out because
the Oceans have warmed 3 degrees
over the past 100 years. Well guess what 'Snapper Head', its gonna
get warmer with or without you no matter what you do or don’t
do. We are still coming out of
the last Ice Age and will continue to do so for the next twenty
three thousand years before the Next Cycle starts to reverse itself
and slide back towards the
cooler temperatures. It will actually get colder a lot faster than
it got warmer. It will only take about three thousand years for
Ice to once again cover the Earth
down to Ohio if the last few times have been any indication. It
will then stay 'ass cold' for the next 80,000 years and slowly warm
up again. It’s a Cycle and
there’s nothing we can do about it. So deal with it and Stop
Bitching. The first Ice Age lasted almost 200,000 years and had
almost 10 million before the next one.
The intervals are getting shorter and the Ice Period quicker. It's
all based on the Sun and the Solar Radiation we receive and how
it affects the Global Temperature
not Car Emissions. People who worry about Global Warming are the
same ones who worry that the Sun will go Nova and eventually shrink
to a small White Dwarf
in about 15 billion years. Geez, give me a break. Do they plan on
being here that long? The fact of the matter is that we have just
recently come out of a
Mini Ice Age in the last 50 years. These are Short Periods of Brief
and Very Cold Climate Spurts that last 3 to 4 Hundred Years. This
was recently documented and
The Discovery Channel did a Wonderful Episode showing its effects
on our recorded history in a series called the MINI
ICE AGE. It lasted from the 1600 to the
late 1870s. That’s why things like Washington crossing the
Delaware depicted on our currency with Ice Flows is not a Fictional
Situation it really was that cold
but nowadays that never happens. Remember when we were kids and
it snowed a foot or more every Winter several times a year. Remember
when our
Grandparents talked about the snow so deep it came up to the horses
ass. My kid has never seen more than 2 inches on the ground. People,
we are coming
out of an Ice Age - deal with it and adapt. It's nothing we caused
- it's Natural. God made it happen and there is Nothing You
or Anyone Else can do about it.
Next time we address the Myth that Man caused the Ozone Hole with
Hair Spray and CFCs.
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DECEMBER
19th, 2005 |
| KISSES
vs LIGHTSABERS: STAR WARS UNDER FIRE
This Past weekend I bought the latest episode of the Star Wars
Saga on DVD, which is actually number 3 in a 9 series movie line
up of which the actual last
3 movies have not yet been made so why this is called the final
episode I can not fathom. All my life I have been an on again off
again Star Wars fan. I was on
when Luke rescued Princess 'Lay Me' (my own term for Carrie Fisher's
character) from detention cell block H and then I was off the fan
list when the fuzzy
Ewoks were introduced to help the "cuddliness factor"
and bump up revenues in the toy arena. They reminded me too much
of hairy Munchkins and why they
would worship C3PO rather than a Wookie who would fit more into
their cultural image of a deity is quite beyond me. I was on again
as Yoda was introduced and
then off again with the horrible Jar Jar Binks. That stupid dialect
he introduced to our youth made me just want to puke and slap every
little bastard that used his
3rd person Bob Dole like speech patterns. All through the Star Wars
Saga we have had a classic storyline. A good guy or good group of
people fighting against a
bad oppressive superior force. Throw in some soap opera plot twist
and a Laurel and Hardy robot team and you got yourself a winner.
Why is it then I can’t stand
George Lucas’s writing style. I do believe he couldn’t
write a sincere moment with drama or passion if his very life depended
on it. Sure he can zap it up with the
best of them and Vader is my all time favorite heavy in any movie
with his commanding presence and James Earl Jones as his voice,
but why, Oh why! does he feel
the need to interject characters designed to do nothing more than
create sales in add on markets that are annoying and not necessary
to the story line? Example the
aforementioned Binks. Like any really sane senator would leave this
blathering idiot as a proxy voter in an actual senate. I’m
sure Amadalla's hair dresser would have
been a safer bet. At least they showed some risk taking attitude
with the carefully coiffure disasters she sported in the movie.
Geez, why do people think futuristic
means you gotta do weird stuff with your hair. I will bet you a
thousand years from now a baseball cap will still be used to cover
a bad hair day not some spangley
blinking light contraption. But back to the story line. Lucas has
two teen aged main characters supposedly in love but its unrequited
love because self centered punk
ass Annikin and Stuck up frigid Amadalla have to deny their feelings
based upon the different paths they have chosen. When they do get
together its almost comical
in its blandness. Let’s face it they were two good-looking
teens with “no controlling authority” as our past Vice
President Al Gore would have said. I’m not saying I
wanted 'nekidity' but some passion when they declared their love
instead of the clinical precision we got on screen would have been
much more interesting. Case
in point the two are chained together about to enter an arena to
face certain death and finally admit their feelings. It went something
like “Hey, by the way, I love
You” “Oh really, so do I” and that was it. Give
me a break. I would have had them in a passionate embrace as they
were wheeled out with the bad guys having to
pry them out of each others grasp. Something anything would have
been better than what we got which was zip. The passion and human
element is better
exemplified by the stories two non-human characters R2D2 and C3P0.
They show more charisma and human characteristics, frailties and
personality than any of
the shallow quick quipping one liner humans Lucas populates his
stories with. They are also the only consistent characters throughout
the entire series. That’s right
those two are supposedly in every single book of the 9 while all
others come and go with the ravages of time, even the centuries
old Yoda doesn’t make the full run.
I think the reason the series did so well with episode 4, the original
movie back in the 1970s, was because it was new and fresh, science
fiction not being a big box
office seller up to that point and because Lucas for once used a
winning proven formula. The good guy, the bad guy, some comic relief,
an old mentor passing on
the torch, and the good guys won in the end. A classic story line.
It’s what made Errol Flynn such a hero of the silver screen.
It’s what made every action adventure
film work. The protagonist, the antagonist, and the dame in distress.
Hell even the Greeks used the formula, just look at the Odyssey
or the Iliad. Although I personally
believe Helen of Troy was a slut; but, that’s a different
rant for another time. If given a choice I would want a bit of human
drama and not so many flashy light saber
battles in my sci-fi. The future doesn’t have to be so dry
and mechanical. A perfect example was the Babylon 5 series it relied
on the continuing interaction of the
main characters and we grew with them, as we understood them more
and more. Or the Stargate series or Far Scape. Once again the human
element is as important
as the rest of the story itself. Sure you can splash it up with
all sorts of science 'doodads' but it all boils down to storyline
if you want it to be an interesting story.
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