     
      |
 |
MAD
MOUNTAIN MIKE'S WILDERNESS NEWS ARCHIVE #2 THE MMM WILDERNESS NEWS ARCHIVE OF PAST COLUMNS CURRENT MAD MOUNTAIN MIKE'S WILDERNESS NEWS MAD MOUNTAIN MIKE'S WILDERNESS NEWS ARCHIVE #1 |
JANUARY
30th, 2006 |
DEEP
THOUGHTS 10 THOUGHTS TO PONDER IN 2006 Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted. Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents? Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. This One is the Best! AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006: We know exactly where one cow with 'mad cow disease' is located among the millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration. |
DECEMBER
12th, 2005 |
THE
BEST PRAYER I HAVE HEARD Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children. Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester. Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares. Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together. Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love. It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love. My You find a piece of Serenity and the Warmth of God's touch. |
