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SLICE
OF CINDI ARCHIVE #3 THE SLICE OF CINDI ARCHIVE OF PAST COLUMNS CURRENT SLICE OF CINDI SLICE OF CINDI ARCHIVE #1 SLICE OF CINDI ARCHIVE #2 SLICE OF CINDI ARCHIVE #4 |
JULY
17th, 2006 |
CINDI
SCRABBLE DORMITORY When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY ELECTION RESULTS When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT MOTHER-IN-LAW When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER SNOOZE ALARMS When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z'S A DECIMAL POINT When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE STRESSED When you rearrange the letters: DESSERTS AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA When you rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using each letter only once): TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS |
MARCH
20th, 2006 |
THE
BLIND MAN One day, there was a Blind Man sitting on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet and a sign that read: "I am Blind, Please Help." A Creative Publicist was walking by and stopped to observe. He saw that the blind man had only a few coins in his hat. He dropped in more coins and, without asking for permission, took the sign and rewrote it. He returned the sign to the blind man and left. That afternoon the publicist returned to the blind man and noticed that his hat was full of bills and coins. The blind man recognized his footsteps and asked if it he was the person who had rewritten his sign and what he had written on it. The publicist responded: "Nothing that was not true. I just wrote the message a little differently." He smiled and went on his way. The New Sign read: "Today is the First Day of Spring and I Cannot See it." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sometimes we need to change our strategy. If we always do what we have always done, we will always get what we have always gotten. Remember, too, sometimes it is not WHAT we say, it is HOW we say it! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Chinese Proverb: "When someone shares something of value with you and you benefit from it, You have a moral obligation to share it with others." |
JANUARY
16th, 2006 |
PASS
THE BUTTER ~~~This is interesting~~~ Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys. When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get their money back. It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added the yellow coloring and sold it to people to use in place of butter. How do you like it? They have come out with some clever new flavorings. DO YOU KNOW ... the difference between margarine and butter? Both have the same amount of calories. Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5 grams. Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study. Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods. Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only because they are added! Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of other foods. Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than 100 years. And now, for Margarine ... Very high in Trans fatty acids. Triple risk of coronary heart disease. Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol). Increases the risk of cancers up to five fold. Lowers quality of breast milk. Decreases immune response. Decreases insulin response. And here's the most disturbing fact .... HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY INTERESTING! Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC ... This fact alone was enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance). You can try this yourself: Purchase a tub of margarine and leave it in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple of days you will note a couple of things: *No flies, not even those pesky fruit flies will go near it (that should tell you something) *It does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value; Nothing will grow on it. Even those teeny weenie microorganisms will not a find a home to grow. Why? Because it is nearly plastic. Would you melt your Tupperware and spread that on your toast? |
DECEMBER
12th, 2005 |
PRESS
RELEASE FROM THE NORTH POLE From Santa Claus, November 24, 2005 via the Internet: I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of West Virginia, Kentucky, Georgia, Florida, Virginia and North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, and Arkansas on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there are a few differences between us. DIFFERENCES SUCH AS: 1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson." 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy. 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace. 4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen"when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty." 5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by"Yee Haw!" And you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!" 6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the words "Back Off My A%& Fore I Come Backaire." 7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars crashing into each other. And Finally, 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree. Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus Member of North American Fairies and Elves Union 1225 |
